Go anus vs. Gowa nus: It's All About Zipper Placement

Some neighborhood names present more issues than others. Take Gowanus. Ever thought about having the name sewn into a hoodie as, say, a Christmas gift? It becomes a delicate issue of zipper and letter placement. Align it the wrong way and you get "Gow anus." Align it differently and you get "Gowa nus." There is a difference, no?

Well consider this email to the people at Neighborhoodies, who make custom lettered t-shirts, hoodies and other apparrel and their response.

Hi There,
I just placed a custom order for a zip up sweatshirt. I want Gowanus Brooklyn on the front of the sweatshirt but wanted to make sure that the way the word "gowanus" gets split looks like gowa-zipper-nus rather than having "anus" on one side of the sweatshirt. Hope you can understand my concern! Perhaps the way you will do it will say gowanus on one side of the zipper and brooklyn on the other side. I couldn't quite tell if the text would be on one line or two lines. In any case, I just want to make sure that wherever the letters break doesn't cause my boyfriend any undue embarrasment. Thx for caring. Feel free to call me if anything needs to be clarified further!

And the response:

Dearest Olivia,
Thanks kindly for your order. Gow Anus certainly makes quite the statement, but we can understand why your boyfriend may not care to make it. Your order has been modified accordingly to prevent any murmurs and/or sussurations.

With abundant respect,

Hercules Winterbottom
Neighborhoodies

Thanks for caring, Hercules!