Rant of the Day: "Coney Island to Turn Into Shitty Mall for Jerks"

This was posted on Meathaus, which doesn't normally cover planning and development or Coney Island. It's bitter and funny and very much to the point. So good, in fact, that all we want to do is copy and paste:

NYC has been seeing a lot of local coverage of this story, and now the developer who has added to his Coney Island holdings through the purchase of Astroland has recently premiered the website The Future of Coney Island. Job growth, community revitalization and new opportunities for people are all good things. Building a new amusement park with shops, restaurants, hotels and condos isn’t necessarily bad either, if they do it right. But could they just respect the 100+ years of history of Coney Island a little and hire some new designers so that they don’t end up with crap like this?

For cryin’ out loud. Coney Island has a 100 years of awesome graphics, design, typography, signage, architecture, and history and this conceptual artist lays out a Times Square style glass and metal clusterfuck of ugly. Let me guess: they need all that cavernous retail space for the Dave and Buster’s, ESPN Zone, TGI Friday’s and Wal-Mart that will be moving in. Where did they get this designer anyway? Jack-O-Lantern on a bikini butt? Must be their idea of Coney wackiness. And don’t even get me started on the graphic for SPLASH! their proposed year-round indoor waterpark. Nice type, assface!

How about this: Try hiring some local old-school people to get involved, pay homage to the hand-painted signs and cartoons, get some of that Coney burlesque, freak show, neon, tattooed, vomit-encrusted, carnival, Russian junk store, hot dog eating contest, boardwalk flavor in there. Come on people. Get with it. And uh… good luck with that.

Rock on!

CONEY ISLAND BONUS: Kinetic Carnival reports that there will be some positive things happening in Coney Island during the Summer 2007 season. He says that Despite, what will probably be an emotional 'last summer' for some - lamenting Astroland's last hurrah, a growing number of new empty lots, closed up stores, and long-gone rides - there will still be a few great things coming up this 2007 summer.

For one, the Cyclone turns 80 this year and there will be an on-going event planned around that. And there are also plans for the Astrotower to be the center of a guided tour with a Museum-in-the-Sky Aerial Photography exhibit. All this and a few other surprises coming this summer.