Sunday, May 27, 2007

Disconnected in Brooklyn on Craigslist: Gaaaa & Urrrggg at Target

Of all the Brooklyn Craigslist Missed Connections we have seen, this is one of the longest. But, it is ooooooh sooooooo worth the read:
You Gave Me Your Cart at Target - w4m - 27

I was having a really bad day, I hate my job, I have to live with my mother right now, my cat just went in for surgery, and my hair is being combative. Target always makes me want to strangle someone. I should know better than to even go there in this condition, but goddammit I needed razors.

And kitty litter. Also a new life, but for now improvising with munchy snax because I am going to smoke a big fattie tonight.

So there I was struggling with the last two carts in the designated cart abandonment zone, the one Target provides because they (wisely) don't trust the clientele with their carts out the front door. The one there never seem to be any carts in because all the Target drones are busy wandering the store in packs, bein' all stylin' and jerking off instead of actually working. I know they make $7 an hour but I wish I got paid for an hour of what they actually do.

Anyway I couldn't get the carts apart and I was actually about to cry, not about the carts lest you think I'm a drippy doofus, but about the rest, when you glided up with your Red Basket of Chilvary.

"Here," you said. "Take mine."

Heaven.

I looked up and you had a smile to melt a bitch and piercing, really stabbing, eviscerating blue eyes. I sort of said "Gaaaaa" to which you riposted "I tried to get those carts apart when I came in, too." See!! Something in common already!!!

I was busy formulating an "Urrrrrgggg" when you reached into the cart and pulled out what looked like the heaviest tool bag I have ever seen, slung it over your shoulder, and with an extra hitch-up and smile, stepped away. Just an honest working man stoppin' by Target on the way home.

Fucking HOT.

Also? I totally checked out your butt as you walked away.

If you'd like to hear me say "gaaaa" and "urrrggg" sometime when I'm a little more together, perhaps we can arrange for a cup of coffee? After all, there's a Starbucks right in the goddamn Target. We could go to Chuck E. Cheese later, if the feeling is mutual.
We rest our case.

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