Disconnected in Brooklyn on Craigslist: I Was Protesting Anti-Hipster Hate Crimes
Sometimes, the best Brooklyn Craigslist Missed Connection of the Week is so obvious that it practically walks up to you and punches you in the face. This is one of those weeks:I was handing out pamphelets decrying anti-hipster hate crimes - m4w - 24Great stuff.
And you were raising money to fight global warming. I patiently listened to your pitch, while noticing that your lips were moist and full, your eyes dilated, and my pants super tight. But then some old Polish lady came along and began to question me before I got to get into the details of what I was trying to accomplish. Well, what I'm trying to accomplish here is to bring an end to anti-hipster hate crimes. I've had it with being insulted (and worse) by strangers while walking down the street. I'll bet you are too. I mean, so what if I like drinking PBR, does that give anyone the right to throw me to the curb and pour it onto my bleeding head? We need to make it a lot less cool to make fun of us, just as it no longer is cool to make fun of Gays or women or black people. Anyway, that's what I'm up to, and I've started a new group (or I'm trying to) that I'm thinking of calling the Hipster Anti-Ignorant Defamation Society (HAIDS), or maybe Hipsters Against Stupid, Ignorant Defamation (HASID). I want to make the streets of New York safe for hipsters. If you are interested, let's get together at Verb to plot our next move or maybe swap stories. The first PBR is on me.
Labels: Missed Connections
posted by rsguskind at 9:25 AM
4 Comments:
That was freaking awesome! I especially loved this part:
"...Hipsters Against Stupid, Ignorant Defamation (HASID)..."
This borough is so utterly ripe with genius. We should all win a Pulitzer.
A hipster who wants to make things less cool? I'm sensing a nice Swift kick to our hindquarters here, but if the gentleman is for real, I'd love to line up HASID for a debate against my group, CACA (Citizens Against Caucasian-Americans).
I have nothing against Caucasian-Americans; hell, some of my best friends are white. My parents tell me I am, too, but their credibility is shot after the unfortunate Easter Bunny affair...
Anway, isn't it long past time that we secured our borders against this influx of interlopers, taking over and ruining our neighborhoods? I've lived in LIC for fifteen years, and am now awash in brick-lined lounges, funky "retro" boutiques and those 21st century porn palaces, the storefront sales condo offices.
So back to Sheboygan and Middletown, ye pale hordes, and take your Crapplebee's and Olive Goddamns and Traitor Joe's and A-Hole Foods and Starfucks and Washington Mutual Masturbations with you. Let my peephole go!
lame
And he wonders why people make fun of hipsters. Un-friggin-real.
Post a Comment
<< Home