Thursday, August 03, 2006

Is A/C the Ultimate Heatwave Turn On? GL Has the CL Results

GirlandAC copy

We are forever in the debt of Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn for prompting this item, despite the fact that OTBKB appears to be riding out the heatwave in Sag Harbor rather than Park Slope. In any case, OTBKB posted this gem, from Craigslist (where else?) that a friend had passed along. It is a personal ad from a Park Slope female that goes like this:
I am looking for a moderately attractive man between the ages of 18 and 40 who has air conditioning in his bedroom. As the temperature is slated to reach in the 100s this week, my need for a boyfriend with air conditioning is especially pertinent. This arrangement is intended for the month of August, however, an indian summer may extend our relationship. If all goes well, I could offer warmth in the winter.

P.S. No fatties.
So, being a researcher by nature, Gowanus Lounge decided to see exactly how many New Yorkers are looking for men and women with A/C or advertising themselves as having A/C in order to attract one or the other for the carnal and/or romantic pleasure of their choosing. To us, this only begs the question of whether it wouldn't be cheaper and simpler to just head out and buy a bloody air conditioner than to wade into the grand parade of life known as Craigslist Personals, but that's getting off topic.

We found that, as of 8:30AM today, 221 Craigslist NYC Personal Ads contained either "air conditioning" or "air conditioner" or "air conditioned" and that in the vast majority of cases the A/C was a central part of the come on. (A/C, unfortunately, is not an accurate search criteria.) Despite the fact that the amusing ad above is from a female, we found that men are far more likely to advertise themselves as having A/C. (Well, they're far more likely to advertise themselves, in general.) In fact, only five women (four straight, one lesbian) are promoting themselves on this basis versus all the men that are trying to snare women with A/C.

All together, there are 34 Brooklyn ads advertising A/C as part of the sales pitch, with the largest number coming from Williamsburg and Greenpoint. Park Slope runs close behind.

Among the gems we found that are vaguely reportable (we took a pass on an awful lot of knee-slapping funny ones because they're just too freaking gross, but we know you'll be able to find them if you want to see them):

"Naked and Air Conditioned," posted by a male, age 30, who says in part, "Hanging out in my hotel room today, naked in front of the air conditioner."

"No Air Conditioning," posted by a male, age 44, who is looking for a woman and uses his lack of A/C as a come on (reverse selling, based on being too cheap to buy an air conditioner?) by writing, "I never did buy an AC. Why don't you make that an opportunity? We can sleep together in the COOL air of your place - isn't this the essence of romance? I'll bring the wine ....I'm in shape and so are you."

"Looking for Phone Fun," posted by a male of indeterminate age, who says, "It is so damm hot outside, that I am considering to have a nice hot phone chat in the coolness of the Air conditioner. I have a nice sexy accent."

"Come Over, Hang Out in My A/C, Make Out?" posted by a 25-year-old male who writes, "Maybe more if we're both into it? Is there a cute girl who's up for it? Drop me a line and maybe you can come on over now (or I can come to you provided you also have Air Conditioning lol)..Normal (i swear!) and clean."

"Come cool down at my air conditioned place," posted by a 48-year-old guy that writes "Your (sic) beautiful, clean, DF, woman between 25- 40 who doesn't want to spend another night in this sweltering heat. Come to my place and share my air conditioning. Movies, some dinner and other good stuff awaits you. I'm smart, good looking, and no bull guy. It's going to 103 tomorrow. Why suffer! Come on over. Need real email and photo a must."

Oh, and then, there was this:

"COOL OFF IN MY POOL ON THE ROOF": "6'3" 190, in shape, easy going, love fun, come for a swim, hang in my very cool Air conditioned apartment....VERY REAL live alone in a large 1BR in a doorman building....dont keep searching CL, here is the real deal!!"

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